You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
