I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
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Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
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Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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