break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
