i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
