She went from zero to smokin in five shots
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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