Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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