The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
