i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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