Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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