All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
