i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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