Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
