I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
