Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
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I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
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I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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