weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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