Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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