she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
