Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Is Oprah even human
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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