I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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