I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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