um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
