Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
