sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
