Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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