My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
