Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
