Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
