Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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