Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
