did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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