what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
