Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Why can't burritos get me drunk
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
