So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You are the jesus of drinking
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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