Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize