How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
