Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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