bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
