he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
