the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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