Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
