His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
