I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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