Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
