As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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