I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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