i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize