what if every blade of grass was a penis?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
