i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
