Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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