It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
