My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
