Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize