why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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