I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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