It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
