Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
