Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
