Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
