The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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