This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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