By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
