she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
