My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
