Can i not drive my cunt home
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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