all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
