You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
