.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
