1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
