theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
